Why healthy Christian community still matters, wherever we gather.
I originally wrote this article in 2015, and it happens to be one of the earliest articles still on my website. I still carry the same heart from which I wrote, but life experience has changed how I would say some of it today.
Back then, I drew a fairly firm line between online connection and face-to-face Christian community. I wouldn’t draw that line today. Technology advanced in ways since then that opened up so many new paths to engage in healthy and significant community.
Since 2018, online church gradually became a significant expression of Christian community for me. In 2020, COVID might have pushed much of the Church online initially, but that isn’t why I stayed. Because of my disability, physically getting to church can be difficult. Online church opened doors for me that weren’t always easy to access otherwise.
But here’s the important part. I felt called to be a member of the online church not just a consumer of information.
And to do so. I had to pursue community.
Watching a livestream wasn’t enough. Neither was listening to podcasts, following Christian teachers or taking online courses. Those things can encourage us, teach us and equip us, but we can do all of them without ever allowing another person into our lives.
Community required something more from me.
I had to show up. Participate. Serve. Be teachable. Allow people to get to know me beyond what I chose to present publicly.
I’ve worshipped and served alongside people online. I’ve participated in small groups and led them. I’ve sat in Zoom breakout rooms during online courses where some of the most valuable moments happened after the teaching stopped and the “people-ing” began. I’ve developed friendships that have lasted for years.
So I no longer believe the dividing line is online versus face-to-face.
I believe it’s community versus consumption.
When More Teaching Isn’t the Answer
Over the years, I’ve talked with many people who are hungry for more teaching, more training, another course, another conference or another podcast series.
There’s nothing wrong with any of those things. I’ve benefited enormously from training myself.
But sometimes what we think we need is more training when what we really need is healthy community.
And yes, people can be messy.
They misunderstand us. We misunderstand them. They occasionally irritate us. We occasionally irritate them. They may see something in us we’d rather they hadn’t noticed.
But they also encourage us, pray for us, celebrate with us and challenge us. Healthy relationships can expose things that another twenty hours of teaching never will.
For those who have experienced church hurt, isolation can feel much safer. Sometimes leaving an unhealthy situation is absolutely necessary. I’m certainly not suggesting anyone return to an abusive or unhealthy environment.
But I do believe that much of the hurt we experience in unhealthy Christian community is eventually healed through experiencing healthy Christian community, not through permanent isolation.
That takes courage.
The invitation isn’t, “Go back to the table where you were wounded.”
It’s, “Don’t decide that because one table wasn’t safe, you’ll never sit at another one.”
Pull Up a Chair
The Internet can still be a wonderful place to hide. We can curate our lives, present only our side of a disagreement and disappear when someone challenges us. We can block, unfollow and move on to another group where nobody knows us well enough to bump against our rough edges.
But I’ve learned something since 2015.
We can hide in a church building too.
We can attend every Sunday, sit in the same pew, smile at the right moments and leave without allowing anyone to really know us.
Physical proximity doesn’t automatically create community any more than a Zoom screen prevents it.
Healthy Christian community requires intentionality, transparency, teachability and mutual respect. Eventually, we have to risk being known.
There’s a place at the table. Sometimes that table is in someone’s kitchen. Sometimes it’s in a church building. And sometimes it’s a Zoom screen filled with little rectangles.
Wherever you find a healthy table, pull up a chair.
Bring something of yourself. Make room for imperfect people. Allow them to make room for imperfect you.
And stay long enough to be known.
For further study, I recommend you spend some time in Ephesians 4:10-16
Until Next Week
©2015 Katherine Walden
